Fab1

Jokes

40 posts in this topic

 

One night a man was sitting at home when the doorbell rang.
he went out and answered the door, a police man asked him if he put in a missing persons report about his aunt. the man said that yes he had.

the officer said of i have some bad news, some terrible news, some good news and some great news. 

the man asked well give it to me in that order.

the officer said.

the bad news is, we found your aunt. the man askes "well whats the terrible news"?

the terrible news is, that she was on the bottom of the river with cement blocks tied to her limbs. the man askes "well that is terrible but whats the good news"?

the good news is, that when we pulled her out she had 7 big mud crabs attached to her the man askes "well that is good whats the great news"?

the officer said well the great news is we are pulling her out again tomorrow.

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Can't blame 'em eh? Not easy getting 7 decent sized mud crabs. hehehe BN

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two Black men fishing on a boat and needed to pee, both go for a pee on opposite gunnel ends ,

The guy on the left wow the water is cold on this side.

Yeah! say the guy on the right, you should how deep it is on this side .

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1 hour ago, Basil D said:

two Black men fishing on a boat and needed to pee, both go for a pee on opposite gunnel ends ,

The guy on the left wow the water is cold on this side.

Yeah! say the guy on the right, you should how deep it is on this side .

Ummmm is there a part 2? I might be having a dumb moment but I don't get it lol.

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haha that dumb moments funny..........referring to the length of their ??????????????

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A Highway Patrolman waited outside a popular local bar, hoping 
for a bust. At closing time, as everyone come out he spotted his 
potential quarry. 

The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He 
stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, looking for 
his car. After trying his keys on five other cars, he finally 
found his own vehicle. 

He sat in the car a good ten minutes, as the other patrons left. 
He turned his lights on, then off, wipers on, then off. He 
started to pull forward into the grass, then stopped. Finally, 
when he was the last car, he pulled out onto the road and started 
to drive away. 

The patrolman, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled 
the man over. He administered the breathalyser test, and to his 
great surprise, the man blew a 0.00. 

The patrolman was dumbfounded. "This equipment must be broken!" 
exclaimed the patrolman. 

"I doubt it," said the man, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy!!!" 

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57 minutes ago, Fab1 said:



"I doubt it," said the man, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy!!!" 

Hahahaha, excellent Fab😜

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22 hours ago, rickmarlin62 said:

haha that dumb moments funny..........referring to the length of their ??????????????

Lol sharpest tool in the shed here lol.

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it wont happen overnight but.....hahaha...nice one

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36 minutes ago, Trailcraft43 said:

😊

IMG_3817.PNG

I missed the humor in this one???

Tick yes OR sack the wife!

JD

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On 9/24/2017 at 2:01 PM, Fab1 said:

A Highway Patrolman waited outside a popular local bar, hoping 
for a bust. At closing time, as everyone come out he spotted his 
potential quarry. 

The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He 
stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, looking for 
his car. After trying his keys on five other cars, he finally 
found his own vehicle. 

He sat in the car a good ten minutes, as the other patrons left. 
He turned his lights on, then off, wipers on, then off. He 
started to pull forward into the grass, then stopped. Finally, 
when he was the last car, he pulled out onto the road and started 
to drive away. 

The patrolman, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled 
the man over. He administered the breathalyser test, and to his 
great surprise, the man blew a 0.00. 

The patrolman was dumbfounded. "This equipment must be broken!" 
exclaimed the patrolman. 

"I doubt it," said the man, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy!!!" 

hahahahaha that is the best one so far

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I went to the new Zoo out west last week, the only animal it had was a small dog

 

It was a Shitzu

 

 

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All very good guys.

A woman goes into Rebel sports to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's Twenty first Birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. A Rebel check-out Clerk is standing there wearing dark shades. 

She says, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel? 

He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind, but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes." 

She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. 

He says, "That's a eight-foot surf caster Shakespeare graphite 667 Model rod, fitted with a Shimano Calcutta 400 reel spooled with 20lb Berkley Fireline. It's a good all around combination and it's on sale this week for only $199.00

She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" 

As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. She bends down to pick it up and accidentally breaks wind. 

At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes it's not likely that the blind clerk could tell it was she who farted. He may not know that she was the only person around. 

The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $254.50 please." 

The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me it was on sale for $199.00? How did you get $254.50?" 

He replies, "Yes, Ma'am, the rod and reel is $199.00, but the duck caller is $36.00 and the fishing bait is $20.50 shocked.gif
 

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Four old timers were Fishin and one remarked how for
Christmas this year he'd love to wake up on Christmas
morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go
directly to the lake, meet his buddies and go fishing. His
buddies all chimed in and said, Let's do it! We'll make it
a priority, figure out a way and meet here early, Christmas
morning."

Months later, that special morning arrives, and there
they are on the lake. The first guy says, "Boy this cost me
a fortune! I bought my wife such a diamond ring that she
can't take her eyes off it."
Number 2 guy says, "I spent a ton too. My wife is at
home planning the cruise I gave her. She was up to her
eyeballs in brochures."
Number 3 guy says "Well my wife is at home admiring
her new car, reading the manual."

They all turned to the last guy in the group and he
is staring at them like they have lost their minds. "I
can't believe you all went to such expense for this
Fishin trip. I slapped my wife on the butt and said,
'Well babe, is it sex or Fishin?' and she said,
"Take a sweater..."

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OK fellas just remember that this forum called fishraider is OWNED and RUN by a woman heh heh

Standby for changes to that survey :04::adminpower::hitsfan::diepig::wife::074:

I might have to put some jokes about men in this thread!!! By the way guys just pm me your wives' email addies will ya hahahah

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5 hours ago, mrsswordfisherman said:

Standby for changes to that survey :04::adminpower::hitsfan::diepig::wife::074:

 

Don't worry Guys I fixed it!

IMG_3817.PNG.5bca90bee9584a43504234723d7bf1a6.PNG

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5 hours ago, mrsswordfisherman said:

DaOK fellas just remember that this forum called fishraider is OWNED and RUN by a woman heh heh

Standby for changes to that survey :04::adminpower::hitsfan::diepig::wife::074:

I might have to put some jokes about men in this thread!!! By the way guys just pm me your wives' email addies will ya hahahah

Here's my mrs email Donna.

Karntelya@gmail.com.

Please send my regards.

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