Big Bob

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About Big Bob

  • Rank
    FLATHEAD
  • Birthday 03/16/1957
  1. Big Bob

    Broken Bay

    You were probably at Boultons Reef.
  2. Big Bob

    Offshore Broken Bay

    No pics sorry
  3. Big Bob

    Offshore Broken Bay

    All, Went on Charter on Saturday Morning. Arrived at Ettalong at 0545 and shortly after the boat pulled in. 16 all up a bucks party and me. Thought that this may be an issue but the Party were extremely friendly and well behaved. We went out 9 mile to the traps and first cast pulled a Dollie followed shortly after by another one(Not large but decent size). Boat had difficulty keeping us on the mark due to heavy current so we moved to a reef nearby. 300 feet to the bottom with a large Snapper lead in tow. Proceeded to deminish the Leather Jacket population over the next few hours and despite 2 moves to different areas they were thick as. Tallylots of leatheries and 2 Dolphin Fish and Bucks party much the same with 2 lovely Blue Spot Flatties,2 Mowies a tailor and a large Salmon with half an esky of Leatheries. The rate that the Jackets were coming in I felt sorry for the Charter captain and mate as they cleaned and skinned each one. All in all a good day but not a lot of variety. I would have killed for a legal Snapper but my only catch went 27 cm and back to grow for next time. Got a feed for the wife and myself so alls good. See Ya Big Bob
  4. Big Bob

    Jigsaw

    A beautiful blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started. Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a Rooster." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a Rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then.....", he said with a deep sigh, "Let's put all these Corn Flakes back in the box
  5. Big Bob

    Best Comeback Line

    It is a portion of ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base? GENERAL COSGROVE: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it? GENERAL COSGROVE: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children? GENERAL COSGROVE: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers. GENERAL COSGROVE: Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you? The radio went silent and the interview ended.
  6. Big Bob

    27 Meg Radios

    All, I am upgrading my Radio. I have a 27 meg at the moment and the aerial is broken and I am not sure if the GME radio is ok as well. I wanted to know if VHF is a better system. I have a 14ft trailor boat and dont venture out to sea that far but want coverage that would suit. I had heard that the 27 meg was being phased out. Is this true? Any info is welcome I would prefer to stay at 27 meg for cost sake but would like to be safe when I do go outside fishing. Regards
  7. Big Bob

    Irish Navy

    Enjoyable... This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation between the British and the Irish, off the coast of Kerry, Oct 98. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-98: IRISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South, to avoid a collision. BRITISH: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North, to avoid a collision. IRISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. BRITISH: This is the Captain of a British navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. IRISH: Negative. I say again, You will have to divert YOUR course. BRITISH: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER HMS BRITANNIA! THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE BRITISH ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN,THAT IS 15 DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP. IRISH: We are a lighthouse. Your call.
  8. Big Bob

    Sam Ting

    The Jewish Chinese Dry cleaner Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a tourist from the Midwest was enjoying the artistry of all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners when he turned a corner and saw a building with the sign "Moishe Plotnik's Laundry." "Moishe Plotnik?" he wondered. "How does that belong in Chinatown?" He walked into the shop and saw a fairly standard looking dry cleaner, although he could see that the proprietors were clearly aware of the uniqueness of the store name as there were baseball hats, T-shirts and coffee mugs emblazoned with the logo "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry." The tourist selected a coffee cup as a conversation piece to take back to his office. Behind the counter was a smiling old Chinese gentleman who thanked him for his purchase. The tourist asked, "Can you explain how this place got a name like 'Moishe Plotnik's Laundry?' The old man answered, "Ah...Evleebody ask me that. It name of owner." Looking around, the tourist asked, "Is he here?" "It me," replies the old man. "Really? You're Chinese. How did you ever get a name like Moishe Plotnik?" "Is simple", said the old man. Many, many year ago I come to this country. I standing in line at 'Documentation Center of Immigration.' Man in front of me was Jewish man from Poland. Lady at counter look at him and say, "What your name?" He say, "Moishe Plotnik." Then she look at me and say, "What your name?" I say, "Sam Ting."
  9. Big Bob

    In Case You Were Wondering ?

    Koshies Joke From Sunrise 4/11 John Howard and his Security guard are on a Skiing trip when they come across a sign in the snow written in Pee. The sign says “John Howard is a Dork”. John is suitably unimpressed to the point that he demands his Security guard takes a sample for DNA analysis. They submit the sample and when the results come back the Security guard informs John. He says let me see the results. The Security guard says “There is some good news and some bad news which would you like first”. John says Id like the Good news. The Security guard says “The pee was Kim Beasleys” And the Bad news John asks. > > > > > > > > > > The bad news is the handwriting is Janette Howards
  10. Big Bob

    Men Say Woman Hear

    1 "I can't find it" MEANS: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I am completely clueless. 2 "That's women's work" MEANS: it's difficult, dirty, and thankless. 3 "Will you marry me?" MEANS: both of my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer and there's no peanut butter left. 4 "It's a guy thing." MEANS: there's no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical. 5 "Can I help with dinner?" MEANS: why isn't it already on the table? 6 "It would take too long to explain" MEANS: I have no idea how it works. 7 "I'm getting more exercise lately" MEANS: the batteries in the remote are dead. 8 "We're going to be late." MEANS: I have a legitimate reason for driving like a maniac. 9 "Take a break, Doris, you're working too hard." MEANS: I can't hear the football over the vacuum cleaner. 10 "That's interesting dear." MEANS: are you still talking? 11 "Love, we don't need material things to prove our love." MEANS: I forgot our anniversary again. 12 "You expect too much from me." MEANS: You expect me to stay awake? 13 "It's really a good film." MEANS: It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and women. 14 "You know how bad my memory is." MEANS: I remember the words to the theme song of Only Fools and Horses, the address of the first girl I kissed, and the plate number of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday. 15 "I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses." MEANS: the girl selling them on the corner was a real babe. 16 "Oh, don't fuss, I just cut myself, it's no big deal." MEANS: I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt. 17 "Hey, I've got reasons for what I'm doing." MEANS: what did you catch me at? 18 "She's one of those rabid feminists." MEANS: she refused to make my coffee. 19 "I heard you." MEANS: I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and hope I can fake it well enough, so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me. 20 "You know I could never love anyone else." MEANS: I am used to the way YOU yell at me, and realise it could be worse. 21 "You really look terrific in that outfit." MEANS: Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving. 22 "I brought you a present." MEANS: It was free ice scraper on the cover of Man and Motors. 23 "I missed you." MEANS: I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry, and we're out of toilet paper. 24 "I'm not lost, I know exactly where we are." MEANS: No one will ever see us alive again. 25 "This relationship is getting too serious." MEANS: I like you almost as much as I like my car. 26 "I don't need to read the instructions." MEANS: I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help.
  11. Big Bob

    How Smart Are Lawyers?

    > These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are > things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and > now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm > while these exchanges were actually taking place. > ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? > WITNESS: No, I just lie there. > ________________________________ > ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? > WITNESS: July 18th. > ATTORNEY: What year? > WITNESS: Every year. > _____________________________________ > ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? > WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. > ______________________________________ > ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? > WITNESS: Yes. > ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? > WITNESS: I forget. > ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you > forgot? > _____________________________________ > ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? > < FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=navy>WITNESS: > Thirty-eight or > thirty-five, I can't remember which. > ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? > WITNESS: Forty-five years. > _____________________________________ > ATTORNEY: What was the first t hing your husband said to you that > morning? > WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" > ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? > WITNESS: My name is Susan. > ______________________________________ > ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in > voodoo? > WITNESS: We both do. > ATTORNEY: Voodoo? > WITNESS: We do. > ATTORNEY: You do? > WITNESS: Yes, voodoo. > ______________________________________ > ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his > sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? > WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? > ____________________________________ > ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? > WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one. > ________________________________________ > ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? > WITNESS: Would you repeat the question? > ______________________________________ > ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? > WITNESS: Yes. > ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? > WITNESS: Uh.... > ___________________________________ ___ > ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? > WITNESS: Yes. > ATTORNEY: How many were boys? > WITNESS: None. > ATTORNEY: We re there any girls? > ______________________________________ > ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? > WITNESS: By death. > ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? > ______________________________________ > ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? > WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. > ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? > ______________________________________ > ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a > deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? > WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. > ______________________________________ > ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on > dead people? > WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. > ______________________________________ > ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go > to? > WITNESS: Oral. > ______________________________________ > ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? > WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. > ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? > WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an > autopsy on him! > ____________________________________________ > ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? > WITNESS: Huh? > ____________________________________________ > And the best for last > ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for > a pulse? > WITNESS: No. > ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? > WITNESS: No. > ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? > WITNESS: No. > ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you > began the autopsy? > WITNESS: No. > ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? > WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. > ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? > WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and > practicing law.
  12. Big Bob

    Blonde Joke

    Nice One
  13. Big Bob

    Blonde Joke

    Subject: Blonde Joke A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a "Handywoman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighbourhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. "Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch,"he said, "How much will you charge me?" The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage. The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house? He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" the husband asked. "Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint leftover, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her. "And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus!"
  14. Big Bob

    Nz Monster Snapper

    http://www.thefishingshow.co.nz/VIDEOSsnapper.html You can only dream
  15. Big Bob

    What Other Hobbies Do You Have

    Love my Vegi Garden