Great Excuse for speeding ?

[Trailcraft43]

There was a middle aged guy who bought a brand new Mercedes convertible SLK. He took off down the road, flooring it up to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. 'This is great,' he thought and floored it some more.
He looked in his rearview mirror and there was a Florida Highway Patrol Trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blasting. 'I can get away from him with no problem' thought the man and he floored it some more and flew down the road at over 100 mph.

Then he thought, 'What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing' and pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the State Trooper to catch up with him.

The Trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes and walked up to the man.

'Sir,' he said, looking at his watch. 'My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday the 13th. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding; that I've never heard before, I'll let you go.'

The man looked back at the Trooper and said, 'Last week my wife ran off with a State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back.'

The State Trooper said, 'Have a nice day.

Edited September 5, 2017 by Trailcraft43

[zmk1962]

I would have been happy to pay to hear that joke !

Cheers Z

[COASTIE 01]

3 hours ago, zmk1962 said:

I would have been happy to pay to hear that joke !

hahahaha, i would to!!!!!

[Fab1]

Good one.lol.

I wouldn't recommend saying this next time someone's pinged speeding.

While I was driving down the freeway the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. 

The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk, asked: "Runway too short?" to which I replied, 
"I'm late for work." 

To which he asked, "What do you do?"

I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded. 

The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? a rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

" Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, I work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, 
until it's about 6 feet." 

Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?" 

To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..." 

[Regan]

6 minutes ago, Fab1 said:

Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?" 

To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..." 

not a bad joke

[Trailcraft43]

1 hour ago, Fab1 said:

Good one.lol.

I wouldn't recommend saying this next time someone's pinged speeding.

While I was driving down the freeway the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait. 

The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk, asked: "Runway too short?" to which I replied, 
"I'm late for work." 

To which he asked, "What do you do?"

I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded. 

The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? a rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

" Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, I work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, 
until it's about 6 feet." 

Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?" 

To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..." 

Hahahahaha, ?

Did the misses get a phone call to bring money for bail?

lol?

Edited September 5, 2017 by Trailcraft43